How to get a chip in your auto windshield fixed

On a trip to Stratford, Ontario, I noticed a small chip in my windshield. This being a new car (less than 1000 miles on the clock), I called Lexus. Thus started a long sequence of calls, which I document here to prepare the reader for this ordeal.

1. Call Lexus. Get transferred to service department. Get information that they can surely fix it, no problem. Just bring it in. Warranty coverage, I ask. No, he says. All you need do is pay. No thanks, I say.
2. Call Allstate insurance . Yes, it is covered, but with a $500 deductible. If it is less than that, I should not make a claim.
3. Call Lexus. Get transferred to service department. How much, I ask. $1000 to replace the windshield, he says. AARGH, I say. Less if it can be patched, he says, we have a guy that comes in to do great patches.
   
4. Call Allstate. Make claim. She asks -- is it larger than a dollar? Is it in your line of sight? No, I say. OK, she says, if it can be laser treated, than Allstate will fix it, no deductible. Who do you want to have it fixed by? Here is a list of names. Wait, I say. Can I use the Lexus fixer. Sure, she says, if he is on our list.
5. Call Lexus. Get transferred to service department. Get voicemail. Hang up.
   
6. Call Lexus. Explain that I do not want voicemail. Get transferred to service department. Get voicemail. Hang up.
7. Call Lexus. Get transferred to a real person in the service department. Get the name of their windshield guy.
8. Call Allstate. Give them name of windshield guy. Yes, he is a preferred provider. Get transferred to Estella at windshield guy. She says to call at 8:30 Wednesday to get a time for the appointment.
9. Call Estella. Guy answers. I am calling to get the time of my appointment, I say. Pregnant pause. My name is Clive Moss. Pregnant pause. Can I speak to Estella, I ask. Sure, he says. Pause. Estella on the phone. She says -- I will call you back in 5 minutes. I wait 30 minutes.
   
10. Call Estella. Guy answers. Can I speak to Estella? Sure he says. Appointment is made for between 2 an 4 o'clock today.

Watch this space for the next enthralling episode...